DON'T UPSET YOUR FEET.

Brother Binky thought that you might be interested to know that his latest poem is written in Iambic Pentameter with a Spondee at the end of every other line.

Everyone loves a Spondee.

Brother Biscuit-Banjo.

Don't upset your feet.

There's nothing quite as silly as a flip-flop,

They're always sliding off your bloody feet.

There's nothing that's as prone to make your head pop,

As shoes that won't stay on your plates of meat.

I don't know why you'd use them for a beach walk,

You just get sand between your foot and shoe.

I tried it once and then I heard my feet talk,

"Remove these things before we murder you."

I took them off and held them, one in each hand,

And let the sea cascade around my toes.

I took a breath then ventured back to dry land,

Then picked a grain of sand from out my nose.

The beach got stony so I wore my flip flops,

And used them to protect my sandy soles.

I slipped and cut my ankle on a sharp rock,

My skin was broken, blood came out the holes.

My feet piped up again and said, "We warned you,"

"We said to keep those fucking shoes away."

I answered back, "I only tried to help you."

They turned me round and said, "We'll make you pay."

They marched me down the beach in to the cold sea,

Then said, "We think it's time to say goodbye."

They carried on until the waves consumed me,

I wore flip-flops and now I'm going to die.