THE BATTLE OF DOMINO - Brother Binky

A shocking vista reaches out where hundreds now lay dead.

The red and blue on one side where the strings of cheese have spread.

The other side an open grave with fallen monks at rest.

The bitter truth of war but still we try to do our best,

To save the world from Domino's and crush their evil plan.

We broke through their protective crust and there the fight began.

The web of cheese was cut away tomato bunkers breached.

Though many monks have lost their lives the HQ has been reached.

We now lay siege to meaty walls and cut off their supply.

This secret war will carry on, yet many more will die.

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Brother Biscuit-Banjo - The Domino's War

Let me begin with begging your forgiveness for our silence, it was not of our choosing.

We have just returned from playing our part in a holy war. It is not a war you will have heard of, and it certainly will not appear in the media. This is a most secret fight between those old foes, good and evil. We refer to it simply as "The Domino's war".

For many years now, the world wide corporation, Domino's, have been waging a covert war against civilisation. This will almost certainly come as a surprise to you, but just think about it for a moment. It all started with a friendly new pizza company, then it grew and grew in to something far more sinister. 

The nonstop marketing has been focused on the youth of the world, finding a place in the collective conscience and growing like a cheesy weed. Proof of their success can be easily found. People used to suggest getting a pizza, now they suggest getting a Domino's.

The struggle still rages on, with every order of sacred monks sworn to force back the armies of crusts and cheap ingredients masquerading as fresh and high quality. We have returned to spread the truth and play our part in ending this madness.

The simple truth is that Domino's charge twice the price of what a pizza should cost. When was a large pizza ever worth £17? They hide behind the smoke and mirrors of endless offers. These are thrown at us on TV, posted through the door and forced upon us on line. Each offer is designed to make you think you are getting a good deal, when in fact you are simply paying what a pizza should cost. Buy one get one free is just a scam to make you buy two pizza's, and if you are stupid enough to pay £17 for one pizza, they laugh at you until they fart, probably in the cheese. Free delivery? If delivery is free, why do you get two for one if you collect? Because it's cheaper for them not to deliver, and again they laugh, again they fart, this time in the tomato sauce.

Believe us when we say this is only the beginning. After our youth is comprehensively brainwashed, that generation will have children, who will grow up knowing nothing but Domino's. When their control is utterly complete and unquestioned, that's when phase two will be implemented. Due to security and the safety of mankind's future, I will not go in to the details of phase two. Even if I could, you wouldn't believe me.

Bless you all. May you each be protected, and remember, there are other places 

to buy pizzas.

Join our crusade on the facebook page.

 

THE BIG QUESTION

Bob Dylan once asked...."How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?"

Answer -

I was once lucky enough to visit Mr Dylan whilst travelling the spirit world. It turns out that it was a trick question all along. The man he was thinking of was actually bound to a wheelchair, and more than that, he lived in the Antarctic where there are no roads. He was occasionally helped in to a snowmobile, but even then he would simply be driven over the endless snow planes.

Once, the driver of the snowmobile suffered terrible cramp, and drove the vehicle right off the edge of a cliff. Both men crashed in to the icy sea where if not for substantial puffer jackets they would have sunk, becoming big manly ice cubes. Their absence was quickly noted and Captain America, who happened to be in the area on training duties, hurried to their aid. Whilst recuperating beside an oil filled radiator, the man sang to his friends in Russian, though he was not Russian, his friends weren't impressed and left hurriedly.

Much of this story was omitted from the final cut of Mr Dylan's song. Whether this is for the best, you can decide.

Brother Driblystick.

THE BIG QUESTION

The band Travis once asked..."Why does it always rain on me?"

Answer - Travis were from Scotland.

Another one of life's big questions unravelled by Brother Driblystick.

Brother Binky's new poem

Peppers Can't Be Real

I looked at a pepper so bright and smooth,

They don't look real, but I can't prove,

That they were forged by outside force,

By alien life, or God of course.

There's something there that won't ring true,

I simply can't believe they grew,

Just popped out of the ground one day,

I think they came another way.

They look like plastic painted bright,

There's something there that's not quite right.

The different colours, perfect skin,

It makes me question, scratch my chin.

Perhaps a seed was planted here,

By distant life which waits and peers,

Down on our world whilst peppers spread,

To take the Earth and leave us dead.

Brother Biscuit-Banjo (The note)

This is what happens when you ask Brother Fingers to leave a note for the milkman.

Brother Finger's song about Justin Bieber

Brother Fingers expresses his feelings about Justin Bieber in his new song.