Monday, 24 July 2017
Brother Biscuit-Banjo - The Domino's War
Let me begin with begging your forgiveness for our silence, it was not of our choosing.
We have just returned from playing our part in a holy war. It is not a war you will have heard of, and it certainly will not appear in the media. This is a most secret fight between those old foes, good and evil. We refer to it simply as "The Domino's war".
For many years now, the world wide corporation, Domino's, have been waging a covert war against civilisation. This will almost certainly come as a surprise to you, but just think about it for a moment. It all started with a friendly new pizza company, then it grew and grew in to something far more sinister.
The nonstop marketing has been focused on the youth of the world, finding a place in the collective conscience and growing like a cheesy weed. Proof of their success can be easily found. People used to suggest getting a pizza, now they suggest getting a Domino's.
The struggle still rages on, with every order of sacred monks sworn to force back the armies of crusts and cheap ingredients masquerading as fresh and high quality. We have returned to spread the truth and play our part in ending this madness.
The simple truth is that Domino's charge twice the price of what a pizza should cost. When was a large pizza ever worth £17? They hide behind the smoke and mirrors of endless offers. These are thrown at us on TV, posted through the door and forced upon us on line. Each offer is designed to make you think you are getting a good deal, when in fact you are simply paying what a pizza should cost. Buy one get one free is just a scam to make you buy two pizza's, and if you are stupid enough to pay £17 for one pizza, they laugh at you until they fart, probably in the cheese. Free delivery? If delivery is free, why do you get two for one if you collect? Because it's cheaper for them not to deliver, and again they laugh, again they fart, this time in the tomato sauce.
Believe us when we say this is only the beginning. After our youth is comprehensively brainwashed, that generation will have children, who will grow up knowing nothing but Domino's. When their control is utterly complete and unquestioned, that's when phase two will be implemented. Due to security and the safety of mankind's future, I will not go in to the details of phase two. Even if I could, you wouldn't believe me.
Bless you all. May you each be protected, and remember, there are other places
to buy pizzas.
Join our crusade on the facebook page.