Monday, 18 May 2020


A recipe for disaster.

If you think that it's easy to write then you're wrong,
Why don't you have a go? Why don't you make a song?
You will first need some chords. Are there many you know?
Three or four would suffice, then you're ready to go.
It is probably best that you ponder a bit,
How to join it all up so your song isn't shit.
You will also need lyrics, and rhymes for the words,
I can fly I'm so high in the sky with the birds.
If you have any class you'll avoid lines like that,
It's been done, it's a cliché, you'll sound like a twat.
All your words should have meaning and mean what they say,
And don't crucify sense putting words the wrong way.
You will need several verses, they can't be the same,
And a chorus that's catchy including the name,
Of your song, but that isn't a rule carved in stone,
And remember the song must be one of your own.
If it sounds just a little like something I know,
I shall burnish my smugness by laying it low.
Now it's time to record. Do you know how that's done?
We'll need mic's and some leads and some software to run.
We'll use buses and plug-in's, auxiliary tracks,
We'll use XLr midi and quarter inch jacks.
I would layer guitars so the sound becomes big,
I will edit and tweak I will nudge and rejig.
Pan the keys to the left and the bass to the right,
Making tiny adjustments, stay up through the night.
When the process has taken up hours and days,
After countless remixing in various ways.
We can master and bounce so the parts become one,
It's the end of the journey, it's finally done.
As my finger is poised to come down on the mouse,
There's a crash as a meteor lands on my house.

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